“The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.”
-James Arthur Baldwin
Losing someone we love, especially if the loss is sudden, can radically change our lives. We may feel there were things left unsaid. Business left unfinished. It's not uncommon to think to yourself that you would do anything for one more conversation with them. One more chance to ask the questions we didn't ask. To tell them we love them one more time. To make sure they are ok in whatever place comes next.
Our dreams can become the vehicle for this communication whether you believe it is actual communication with the spirit world or just your brain processing the unfinished business. Dreams can greatly impact our grieving process for better or worse. I have heard many stories from grieving clients about their dreams and their impact on them. Some have reported having repeated nightmares of the person who has passed or they way they died. These nightmares can cause problems getting quality sleep and lead to anxiety and distress when not confronted. Others report distress that they have not dreamt of their loved one. They worry that they haven't been visited because the deceased is angry with them or their soul did not move on to their idea of an afterlife.
For others their dreams feel like actual meetings with the dead. These dreams can leave the grieving with a sense of connection, comfort, and closure. I am someone who has frequently experienced this type of dream. I have had visitations with grandparents who have passed over the years and most recently about the previously discussed RS. In the dreams I know he is dead and only able to visit me for a short time. Each time he "visits" we have full conversations that address lingering questions I have had since his passing. On the one hand I value these dreams greatly and feel so blessed to have them. On the other hand I wake up with an intense sense of sadness. It feels like he dies again when my eyes open. One vivid visitation from this past week won't seem to leave my mind or my heart. I find myself thinking about it repeatedly with mixed feelings.
No matter what your personal beliefs are around dreaming of those who have passed, these dreams can impact us and our grief. When we are confronted with these types of dreams it is important to sit with them and look at what they are trying to communicate to us. If the dream is a good one how has it helped you? How did the message impact you? If it is a nightmare, what is the dream trying to communicate or process?
The piece above is about the dreams I have had of RS. It is knowing he is dead, but hoping that I can tap into something greater where he is still able to communicate with me. It is about being exposed and vulnerable, but growing through this vulnerability.
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