“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”
― David Searls
For as long as there has been conscious life on this planet we have struggled with the question, "What happens when we die?" There is evidence that even Neanderthals had burial rituals that appear to prepare the dead for their next life in the great unknown. When we are faced with death, either as an abstract thought or a concrete reality, we naturally turn to questions of the afterlife. Where did my loved one go? Where will I go?
As much as our grief is influenced by our attachment to who we have lost, it is also impacted by our own spiritual and religious beliefs. It is not a matter of a right or wrong belief because none of us know for sure what happens. It is more how these beliefs impact us and our grieving. Just as we sit with our other emotions and experiences around loss, we also need to sit with our beliefs and hear what they are saying to us.
I have worked with many different people from many different backgrounds, but the common thread was their spiritual beliefs always factored in to their grief. For some the idea of a Christian heaven provided great comfort. It wasn't that their loved one was gone for ever, but had transitioned to a "better place."
For others they viewed the soul as eternal and this life simply another place to learn and grow. Their sadness over the death of someone they cared for was mitigated by the belief that their soul had continued on its eternal journey and would be available to visit them again in dreams or signs.
And there were still others who believed that when we die that is it. There is no afterlife. There is no soul. We live and die and that's all there is. For these people I heard more than once that these beliefs help them be better people in their day to day lives, but it made it difficult when someone they loved died because they were truly gone forever.
I'm not passing any sort of judgment about what is a "good" or "bad" belief. I believe the only person who can judge a belief is the person who holds the belief. If they find comfort then it is good for them. If it is causing distress then it needs to be looked at by the individual.
The above piece is my own view of the afterlife. As someone who sits with death daily both in my work and with my own health it is a topic I frequently consider. I have also noticed that my beliefs shape how I grieve and how I live. My spiritual beliefs are so central to who I am as a person that no matter how much I may try to push them aside and only look at grief clinically, it is an impossible task. I am spirit living a human life so taking spirit out of my views would be removing myself as well.
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